A partner goes quiet. A text sits unanswered. A meeting invitation doesn't arrive. Very little has actually happened — and yet your chest is tight and your mind is already three steps into an argument. Our brains are good at filling in missing information, and sometimes the story arrives before the facts. Start with the fact. “They haven't texted back.” That is what you know — the observable, checkable part. It fits in one short sentence, and anyone looking at the same phone

Most arguments don't start with what was actually said. They start with what we heard — the meaning we added to a sentence in the half-second before we checked what the other person meant. By the time we're defending ourselves, we may be answering a version of the conversation our partner never intended to start. Ask these seven words. Before you explain, correct, or defend, try: "Tell me what you heard me say." Seven words, and the whole shape of the conversation changes. In